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Mat Mania: Battle Royale

by Mega Ran

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about

After two years of releasing annual solo wrestling tracks, Mega Ran, after noticing an influx of wrestling/rap tracks, decided to make the third time the charm, bringing along the crew and spotlighting some of the up and comers in the growing "WrassleRap" community. Enjoy this (too) sweet collection of songs dedicated to the men and women who give their bodies for our weekly sports entertainment fix. WOOOO!
*Explicit Lyrics*

credits

released April 6, 2018

Producers listed on individual tracks. Artwork by Derek Marunowski.

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Mega Ran Philadelphia

“Mega Ran's proven he can excel in storytelling, punchlines, poignancy, freestyling and, well, pretty much any other way you can measure an MC.”

— LA Weekly

An incredible impromptu "freestyle" MC, Ran's unique combination of fantasy and introspective hip-hop has found its way all over the world, into leading press outlets and most recently, into the Guinness Book Of World Records.
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Track Name: MM3 (the intro)
It’s a *new day but still be on my day one ish,
Paconaut pulled out a flame drum kit
And go to work, like -
The son of a plumber, number one stunner , 9th World Wonder, take em under,
paul bearer of the small era,
Got em seeing red like terry taylor
Livid
It ain’t gimmick if you live it dig it
Kill all the Rumor and innuendo,
Been a starman since regular Nintendo,
Rap game sick, fighter hyabusa with the brain kick,
Shining wizard, I deliver, Texas clover leaf on an open beat— I lock it down,
Lead booker blow the whistle like I’m Michael Rooker , yondu on the wan two, yall know I do, me and my crew
Like the Faces of fear and we takin it there
Number one contender I been Chasin ing for years
Now I’m here— Runnin every territory
Can’t rehabilitate em, that’s the sheriffs story
So what’s left, lou thesz press
No air in ya chest, I’m the best till my death
This is a stick up, quicker than a hiccup,
I was down a minute then I kip up,
Get buck - if you man enough, I throw a rapper camel clutch make em scream till he had enough.
What

*skit*

Ayo we Pack stadiums
Crack craniums
Rap aliens
Explain to em
This is mat mania

And the winner is....


Ayo we Pack stadiums
Crack craniums
Rap aliens
Explain to em
This is mat mania

And the winner is....
Track Name: One Fall (by Schaffer The Darklord)
Let me tell you people something right now
Shut up until I put this mic down
And lay waste to every act in the game
Then you’ll have permission to be chanting my name

I came up in the locals then NXT I was Raw
Tonight you’ll catch a Smack Down your face to your jaw
No manager or partner, just a monster
A One Man Gang, I’m decimating the roster

I’ve locked up with the best of them, toppled them all
Working day and night to rock with you, off the wall
No holds barred like an all-out pub brawl
The following contest is scheduled for one fall

Oh and I’m gonna take it
Your pay per view win streak, I’m gonna break it
Your name in the hall of fame, I will erase it
Born to play the heel, never gonna face it

I’m climbing up the ladder past you and higher
Retire you and laugh as the last of the fire
From your fans in the cheap seats is dying down
You can’t see me, my time is now

I’ve locked up with the best of them, toppled them all
Working day and night to rock with you, off the wall
No holds barred like an all-out pub brawl
The following contest is scheduled for one fall

Ooh, and it’s gonna be you
Taking that fall from the top rope BOOM
You’re putting me over tonight, I’m putting you through
The broadcast table, brother, what you gonna do?

Been a legend killer on the circuit for years
Dishing out the injuries that finish careers
You’re face down now, nearly fatally harmed
Hearing “here is your winner” when they’re raising my arm

I’ve locked up with the best of them, toppled them all
Working day and night to rock with you, off the wall
No holds barred like an all-out pub brawl
The following contest is scheduled for one fall

Woo! And I’m gonna win it
I will have you tapping out or pinned within minutes
Leave your legacy in tatters and diminished
Space is the place, and the sky is the limit, yeah

Less a man than a beast made of rage
When I’m tossing your body off of the top of the cage
And you’re ruined, I walk away the champ undisputed
With the belt around my waist as they’re playing my music

I’ve locked up with the best of them, toppled them all
Working day and night to rock with you, off the wall
No holds barred like an all-out pub brawl
The following contest is scheduled for one fall
Track Name: Boo Or Cheer (feat. Teek Hall)
Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
It don’t really matter to me homie, long as you in here
Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
But if you don’t like me ask yourself what is you doing here?
Heh?

Austin and the Rock they was some special dudes
Nowa*days you boring just cause you respect the rules
Nowadays we working harder than these other dudes
Find another cat to kick that same old lecture to
(They forcing him down our throat) say what?
They forcing him down our throat) huh
That’s cuz before the push you all loved em the most- what else
(He only got 3 moves) what
(He only got 3 moves) huh
Who you talking bout cuz that’s everybody my dude
If I get all the cheers they call me baby face
Whip appeal, with the skill that’s my saving grace
Miss a meal, Yet I still, keep my Lady laced
Throw it back, throw it back like it’s 88
Summer slam, Mega bucks vs Mega powers
Expedition with the Extra fixin’ Eddie Bauer
We about to make it rain like some heavy showers
Anticipating me winning every hour on the hour,

Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
It don’t really matter to me homie, long as you in here
Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
But if you don’t like me ask yourself what is you doing here?
Heh?

First of all I come to offer my apologies,
This for anyone on my socials who follow me
Cuz a whole lotta stuntin what you bout to see
Guess I’m a mess but still got some endearing qualities
Just because you see me with ya favorites takin pictures,
That don’t mean slide in my DMs acting different
I know I’m so busy, we don’t get a chance to kick it,
Check the prices on the meet and greet and grab a ticket
(You found a niche Market )and what?
You found a niche market) huh
Maybe I did, maybe you didn’t, because you spit garbage what else
(He Got on with that nerd rap) what
(He for on with that nerd rap)
Yeah I know I done heard that,
Go and run the last verse back,
That bol Be snappin man... I said that bol Be snappin man..
You I came up Battling... please don’t make me go back again
Since as I hit the scene,
They feenin like it’s nicotine
You can curse and kick and scream
I can’t hear you through the screen

Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
It don’t really matter to me homie, long as you in here
Boo or cheer, boo or cheer - it’s your right to
Boo or cheer
But if you don’t like me ask yourself what is you doing here?

Verse 3: Teek Hall
Heading to the ring, feel like I'm the hardest here
your children can try to cheer, Ima make them shed a tear
when I tear their poster anyone can be a volunteer
you are just a poser in my heart you never struck no fear
cause look how you're smiling, you too cheerful
I'll cut a promo, and here's an earful
you full of it
I swear this beat make me feel like Jericho
I'm bout to put you on the list
Mr T. your team to sh*t
Bangarang and never miss
Kimbo Slice your team to bits
Ice grill, Ice pack on my knee caps
They saying wresting is fake they need to relax
cause it's just scripted, with this gab i'm gifted
heel turn then I turn your man into submission
I'm saying for a second listen
you paid your money, now it's time to pay attention
Track Name: SMARK (by Erik Stephen feat. Mega Ran)
I walk into a room, boom!

With my five moves of doom

I reference Cena so much I'm sure you assume

That I've got a man crush

But I swear it's just random, not fandom

Ignore the life-like mannequin

You can't see it, I didn’t seat it

Next to me in my Kia

Drive somewhere scenic

To watch a sunset in Phoenix

Share a box of Kleenex

Then leave it in the middle of a bee’s nest

I mean ahhh...

You can’t see me weekly on your tube

I don’t have a show

So don’t treat me like I do

Adjust your attitude, I’ve got nothing to prove

Fist bump to the noobs

Pump up my tennis shoes

Your time is up, my time is now

And 109 minutes was wasted on 12 rounds

I can’t get the back, I should know wrong from right

Writing songs for Christ since John was a Prototype

Chorus

Im a smart mark, I'm a smarky smark


Mega Ran:

Straight Edge Society, Stay in sobriety
Except when I’m flying then they can’t get high as me
Bound to go down in notoriety undeniably
As a guy that’s won every rivalry
Xs on my hand don’t mean that I’m underage
I’m more than a fan I’ve always been unafraid
Got the t-shirt, the snap back and wrist bands
I’m yelling his Shoot name, he Can hear my chants from the stands
Mickey Gall can get these paws, please
I’m 6 feet tall, this kids too small
Got An anaconda vise on the mic whenever I flow
A capo im like Jordan in chicago
Im in the front row making fans uncomfortable
If I cant get in the ring at least I can disrupt the show
Drop a pipe bomb when I write Rhymes,
Know it’s pre scripted - I’m the one to keep your eyes on..



I know what you about to do before you do it ( say what)

I telegraph your every movement now you just foolish

Time to get into it
Move it to the music,

The smarks in here
The smarks in here
Track Name: Bull Nakano (by Grizzly F.O.G.)
Check the record, i'm snapping like a pit bull,
Or Nakano reality check like bravo
Cause when I come through i'm tearing shit up
So get down and act accordingly and get your weight up.
Never stay guessing, always be the best and,
Homie you a sell out so please get to stepping.
Always saying that you put the work in,
I'll shut you down just call me the steel curtain.
Oh yeah the feedback appreciated
Going through the rapture looking so inebriated.
Did you notice that i'm going full throttle when I cross this globe,
Forever a Angelito to your PTO
I don't mess with hoes though, I'm getting around
Looking like i'm Iverson I'm going pound for pound
Imma have all these haters till I get in the ground
You ain't swimming with the sharks bitch you bound to drown...
Track Name: High Spots
Back flip off the top rope
Fly in on a zip line
Power bomb off the ladder
Kick out just in time

We here for the high spots
turn it up yo, We here for the high spots
We here for the high spots
turn it up yo, We here for the high spots


I be’s off the chain
Since the day I saw Super fly leap off the cage
I feed off the flames,
And you ain’t gone eat off the name,
Naw be on ya way
You greener than Goose poop,
Always up to no good like pete is in goof troop
It’s time for the contact,
Batista, Thumbs down brother nah I ain’t signing the contract,
Im the higher power - all ya plans’ll get thwarted,
Even my immediate family bought it
Raised right, but just hop might potato ya
Just for a spot on botcha mania
Sidewalk slam my program
Hard enough to make Ron Simmons go DAMN
Shock Master trippin through life
Sell my toys for a ridiculous price
Not into the ice , that’s a high spot

Back flip off the top rope
Fly in on a zip line
Power bomb off the ladder
Kick out just in time

We here for the high spots
turn it up yo, We here for the high spots

We here for the high spots
turn it up yo, We here for the high spots
Track Name: Daniel Bryan Danielson (by Cheap Pop)
Daniel Bryan Danielson

Dear Daniel Bryan
or is it Bryan Danielson
Your cattle mutilation
brings opponents to their ends

How long'd it take you
to learn all those awesome holds
Your kicks are deadly
and unopposed

And I really, really, really, like your beard

Hey Daniel Bryan
When you were Bryan Danielson
The American Dragon
you had till five to break the hold

Your dragon sleeper
is as painful as can be
And not to mention
your running knee

And I really, really, really, like your beard
And I really, really, really, like your beard
And I really, really, really, like your beard
You know it's true
That I really, really, really, like your beard
Track Name: Flair vs. Rhodes (by Shimmering Warlock)
It's the one-two-three, catch all of these
Catch-as-catch-can rap, no apologies
Ref'll give you til ten til you're on your knees
Pile-driving rappers on my Lawler steez
You got your cheap-ass lyrics at the Dollar Trees
I'm out in the crowd just brawlin', we
Are gettin' so hardcore with the falling knees
I'm Crash Holly - the last thing Molly sees
Independents to the big-time colonies
Mustard on a pop like it's collard greens
No snitchin', no cop, no Tyler Breeze
And if you wanna take them charges, file 'em please
Leave ya Bushwhacked like a pile of weeds
Dog-whistle on you rappers with my silent reeds
Chair shots to the grill till your smile, it bleeds
Fuck a crowd, Little Jimmies, i ain't tryin' to please
You're goin' down no matter how your ass plans it
I'm New Jack and you clowns is Mass Transit
This a D-Von splash -- tenth commandment
"Thou shalt not fuck with the man when he lands it"
Kassius shit, I'm makin' it clear (OH NO)
When I rock I throw bows like Chris Hero
Scoreboard, creating the points
World of Sport rap -- manipulatin' the joints
Just clear out; dudes got your on your feet, run
All you crews talkin; I bruise like Pete Dunn
Got that seat at Gorilla, i'm burnin' all night
Till I bring the heat, killa, you turn like Paul Wight
Just flip the track, this a hurricanrana
Six stars, my bars like Omega and Okada
Just dare to rap when I'm bustin' loads
I snap; Ric Flair versus Dusty Rhodes -- do it​
Track Name: Heel Turn (Bret's Lament)
Don’t make me the bad guy,
I’m just praying that you don’t make me the bad guy
But i work too hard to let somebody pass by
And I hope you understand that this wasn’t in the plans yeah
I just hope you understand yeah

First to work, last to leave
Here while most cats was absentees
Made my family my faculty
Got me feeling like I’m Master P
No Limit, — but when you keep winning then they don’t feel it
That’s when They Start acting like you don’t kill it,
They get So livid- when they put you in a box and you don’t fit it
See i Gave my all, laid my law
Did it my way I ain’t play like y’all
Rise to the top they await my fall
Change the game they wanna take my ball
I ain’t them old dudes,
Nothing is owed you,
Got me bout to go postal
They play by the old rules,
But me I was home Schooled
See when you play by the rules they mistake you for soft
Taking off they start taking you off
Top 10 lists when you feel that shift
Then it’s time to Break in the vault
I sit in class, see cats whizzing past
Kissing ass for a flippin pass
Just cuz we all chose Different paths
Guess Nice guys do finish last huh?
But it’s alright
Count the Short days and long nights
You made your bed,
Now lay your head,
Knowin that You done created this

See how much can change in a day
I ant come here to play
It’s ok
It bees like that To my dismay
I really didn’t want it this way
These are the breaks

Don’t make me the bad guy,
I’m just praying that you don’t make me the bad guy
But i work too hard to let somebody pass by
And I hope you understand that this wasn’t in the plans yeah
I just hope you understand yeah
Track Name: MANKIND (by Joey Zadjino)
I'm all angry faces like a tiki pole
Rappers can't rap so they rap about TV shows
I'm Walter White or whatever I gotta be for dough
I'm that New Orange king reigning the Game of Throne
I never watched that
I'm just a liar when I talk smack
Doggy I'm the Rock & I'm cocked back
The People's Champion's connection with the sock man
That's me, it's the highest rated on raw tracks
(Top that!) Big Boss Man, so I stay mean
I'm the Guardian Angel, but that's the same thing
With a heart full of anger, wearing that dang thing
on the tip of my tongue so I'm always ready to say things, like
I hate myself. So the aim is the claim fame through pain
Like Mankind through chain links
Look in the eyes like Jake Roberts in '86
Catch me with Goten [THAT IS MY CAT] recording mixtapes in the snake pits
Hittin the Redman flows
Spent too much time on the Dark Side now I can't get back
So I'm sticking around, hitting the loud
Listening in to the sounds of the rituals
Ignorant sinners with similar styles
& I'm just a dumb individual

[HOOK]
I just do it 'cause it's fun
(I just do it cause I'm drunk)
I just do it cause I love it
(I just do it for the love)
I just do it for me
I just do it for yall
I do it for the good of mankind, & that's all
I just do it cause I'm high
That means I do it all the time
One time for my mind
I do it for mankind

[VERSE 2]
What's a man but a pile of secrets?
Dracula told me that, & I'm inclined to believe him
(He's never lied to me)
It's 2018 & poetry's dead
But hip-hop's still living so I just do it instead
I'm all D.R.E.A.M.S.
Drugs Rule Everything Around Me
Surround me
Do everything for me
They wrote this album
I'm a monster like Kane, so you know the outcome
There's flames when I enter so I'm losing once the bell's rung
But now who's fist gets held up?!
Well, duh
Catch me raising hell in the cell
The Undertaker when I take ya where we fell from
I'm looking down on the ruins like "Job well done!"
Twelve rung ladder that I'm sittin on
Hit the tron
Play my song
Now I'm going higher: watch me hit this bong
RVD 4:20, but that's a different song
Twisting arms
I got hip-hop in the wristlock
Got bigger pops than a [CM PUNK STATIC]
Guitar riff splitting the arena as I spit hot fire
Like Top 5 Dylan when the kicks drop
Sit & watch, I'm never gonna retire
I'm Mark Henry wearing that salmon colored attire
Tearing it off (YALL ARE PUPPETS!!!)

[HOOK]
Track Name: Punchlines and Clotheslines (RhymeTime feat. Mega Ran)
[VERSE 1]
I started off in the backyard, with barbed wire, we hardcore

Then I moved onto the indies, sold out shows all through your cities, feel me?

Built a buzz, signed autographs…took some bumps and kicked some ass

I made a name and beat a vet and now I’m in the main event

Heart gon’ stop when I hit that chop (chop)…crowd gon’ pop

Heart gon’ stop when I hit that chop (chop)…crowd gon’ pop

Climb the ropes, coming off the top, hit an elbow drop, I’m the cream of the crop

To be the man, you gotta beat the man, and I’ll beat’em all, that’s who I am



[HOOK]

Step into the ring, the title's on the line

Hit 'em with a punchlines and a clothesline

First I'm talking trash, then I'm kickin' ass

Hell, might as well do 'em at the same time

Bah gawd, he's broken in half, bah gawd, he's broken

Bah gawd, he's broken in half, bah gawd, he's broken

Bah gawd, he's broken in half, bah gawd, he's broken

As God as my witness, this man is broken in half



[VERSE 2]

Get the tables, chairs, and ladders! Powerbomb, your body shatters!

Silly rapper, jackin’ swagger, ring your bell like I was Saturn

Close the lid…shut the casket—left ‘em bleeding like Mass Transit

I’m the baddest, read the jacket—you’ll meet defeat like Tony Atlas

Crimson mask is crazy, I'm down to blade if they pay me

So bring on Brock or The Rock, I'll beat anybody but Bayley

And by the time that it’s over, all your bones’ll be broken

You’ll be sad on your sofa watching DDP Yoga…brother!

CHORUS

Verse 3: Mega Ran

Im the whole damn show
Ask anybody My crew is bad,
Go to the pad, bluish clad
Get Scott Steiner to do the math
I'm pumped up in my reeboks
Strutting down to the ring like a I'm a peacock,
Shout your town for the Cheap pop
Split your head wit sheet rock
Spit fire, like heat rocks
Protect the biz Dave Shultz,
Upstage folks like hell in the cell, when the cage broke
My dirt sheets filthy
I'm the Best there is, Best there was, best there ever will be
And my young bucks are all guilty.

You Feel me?
Track Name: Strong Stylin' and Profilin' [Horsemen Remix] (Doc Lesnar feat. Kwency Jones GO, Mega Ran & Cam Archer)
[Intro - Mega Ran]
Strong Stylin', Profilin'
Strong Stylin', Profilin'
Strong Stylin', Profilin'
Strong Stylin' & Profilin'

[Verse 1 - Doc Lesnar]
Its a new day (Yes it is!), remix with my wrestling fam
That's Doc Lesnar, Cam Archer, Kwency Jones & Mega Ran
I'm fresh off of my wedding man, see true is a rare thing
So I walked in to Ric Flair's theme looking fresh as hell with my wedding band
I'm stylin' (stylin'), profilin', Frankie's cosigning that name drop
Got Strong Style on my tank top, from my snapback to my dang socks
From four hundred per paycheck to four figures, no leg lock
I'm a top guy so bottom line nigga don't quit your day job, NAH
Them WCW's, I bag 'em
Kim Kardashian, Sasha Banks, Beyonce, Paula Patton
Amber Rose, Brandi Rhodes, yo Jojo let's get it crackin'
Cuz if Halle fucked The Nature Boy then ANYTHING can happen (Wooooo!)
Jet flyin', limousine ridin', making towns
Having me the hardest time holding these alligators DOWN
The most electrifying every time I come around
Throw my jacket on the ground, elbow drop then strut around, REMIX!

[Bridge - Doc Lesnar]
(Remix!), uh, from the bottom to the top, push
(Remix!), uh from the bottom to the top, (GO!)

[Verse 2 - Kwency Jones GO]
What's poppin' Uce? (What's poppin' Uce?), I got the juice since Day One
So I only fuck wit my day 1's, so either you is or you ain't one
That #TowerGang? that's A-1, our resume on that page one
Fuck celebrating this great run, cuz we ain't done, it's just phase one
I'm smoking, doing homework inside of my gold LeSabre,
Hand-me-down from Grandpa Lloyd, Rest In Peace, it's 5 years later
Trying to get my education (cuz I) lost passion, I was off balance
For the family jewels I went back to school, so Kwency Bueller was off rappin'
Got certified in that Board-Op and explored my options in broadcastin'
I murk this mic wit this jawjackin', I turned it all into podcastin'
King shit like Regal, Chris Hero, we upper echelon
A weirdo like I'm Nero, Obsolete ain't in my lexicon
I'm Pentagon Dark Zero, like Marc Mero I'm wildin'
Boy, this the house I built so fuck how you feel cuz I'm A-J Stylin',
Profilin' for a long while, now Kwency on that murder tip
The King of Strong Stylin' on my Kwenske Rocamura shit!

[Bridge - Doc Lesnar]
(Rocamura shit!), uh, from the bottom (Mega Ran), push
(Doc), from the bottom to the top, (let's go)

[Verse 3 - Mega Ran]
Well son of a plumber
Everyday something is taking me under
Just came from Burying one of my brothers
Feel like I wanna stay under the covers
Bills are due, pipes bust, shower filled mildew
Getting paranoid whenever 5-0 in my rear view
Just tryna steer through life but I'm missing fluid - thank god for music otherwise I'd just be Livin foolish
Dropped Mat Mania and cats was mad they didn't do it,
So Haters diss before they listen to it
What else is new, only thing that'll help me through
Was a desire to keep pushin forward- man I didn't know what else to do,
Thru The Muck of avarice, learned that life its full of Randy savages,
I know what the pattern is, I came up from averageness
*Now we live the dream, fans screaming when I hit scene,
Jet flying stay arriving up in limousines
Best there is best there was, best that ever will,
Never chase a dollar sign imma grind
That's the bottom line

[Bridge - Doc Lesnar]
(Yeah!), uh, from the bottom to the top, push (push)
(Gunner), bottom to the top, (PUSH)

[Verse 4 - Cam Archer]
Raised in the Valley of Death, Paul Bearer with Burdens the way I carry this debt
Roll around with a body donna but every day ain't sunny, Adversity that I gotta accept
Take from me but I can't break, save that for the glass ceiling
Rappers claim to get rowdy but the truth killin'
Double turn made a Face out an old villian
Big Daddy Kane from Yankem, bring a new filling (Wooo)
Work a 12 hr shift just to steal the show, boy I'm smooth as a finger roll
Mindset, all time on ten, climb the ladder in a way that they ain't seen before but whoa
I was on the edge of that Razor, losing my patience, had to elevate for the greater.
Rethinking my angles cause when shit get extreme never know when they might cross for paper
I wanna see the FRUITS of my labor, Day One ish Use, maneuver something major
New Age Outlaw, you Lugers out of favor, shooting for the stars before I knew what a J was
Then I linked up with Jay and proceeded to exceed the things I had seen within me
My faith rearranged, throwing Bucks at my dream, now I'm Alpha Omega, all we do is Elite
When you low you know them Ortons start to circle
I came back strong lookin' like a million on your Virgils
Better know it, got charisma flowing on my opponents
In 2010 was unknown now I'm in your house fully loaded, ah

[Hook - Doc Lesnar]
I'm a Stylin' (I'm stylin'!), Profilin'
Rolex wearin' (wearin'!), diamond ring wearin'
Limousine ridin' (ridin'!), jet flyin'
Kiss stealin', wheelin', dealin', son of a gun and I'm a
Strong Stylin' (Strong Stylin'!), Profilin'
Ice cold chillin' (chillin'!), microphone killin'
I"m a, chin checkin' (checkin'), Tower Gang reppin' (Woo!)
Beard swaggin', beer bashin', one of one, (Let's Go!)

[Bridge - Doc Lesnar]
Uh, from the bottom to the top, push (push)
Uh, from the bottom to the top (PUSH)
[Fade to End]